Estimate:
I approach you from the deepest of humility, not give him more encouragement than what has always been theirs. Not intending to interrupt their daily tasks and responsibilities add to the already acquired. I understand that I can understand now why I have owned it, but please still take a few minutes of your precious time to truly understand what it's made my universe. To dive in my words and my thoughts and become one with them. To not go back (because I want to be near me always) turn around and knowing the way he has done in the dark to reach the depths and the depths of my heart.
Because I do not know if you know, but my heart is an unusual place. Although not noticed he has played hide and seek with you for a while. Believe me, I explained, as I explained to myself, that children had been left behind and we, him my hand and I in your company, we have grown. I tried tirelessly to understand the separation between game and reality, between our reality and the rest, but chose to play yet understood. And I tired to explain without being understood I decided to host it on my chest accepting as it had decided to be. When you started playing with him, running around like kids at recess or singing or laughing or understood as fellow bank that provided the squad or pen and ink and start the relationship pure and genuine history My heart and his (also gamer children, also rebel) understood that they wanted to love themselves. You inadvertently learned once and for all my language, deciphered my world. So every night when in bed and thought I could not sleep in their eyes and hands my heart leaped as consenting, as if asking permission to open the door to his and let them stay to live together. And now I do not know if your heart is mine and mine in yours, because knowing that would understand the miracle of being with him (and if anything characterizes the miracles is not understanding them. But no would be a miracle), but for some device that does not seek to understand, somehow I know that two things happen at once: my heart and yours are on each other so stop being ourselves. My heart is you in the deepest sense, understand? If something was missing to make it happen was the statement, so, made the statement "it only remains to look after him and keep playing.
That's not all, of course. Because I know, or believe know-that you do not know all the elements juxtaposed and diverse combination being my complex but simple feeling of love. So complex compound. Simple as accurate.
I hand here and now all the dice and give kisses, that even before birth or after completing the task assigned to them belong. Every kiss that unites us and brings us closer gives me more reason to love him, because every kiss multiply geometrically the desire to keep kissing (that is, if I kiss you want two, if you want to give it two four, if you give it four eight and so on). Everything in his kisses is good. All kisses are worth it. The impending vertigo. The infinite condensate development. And then the calm of the waves that are removed following the outbreak in the open sky, the silence of the immense. So they are wrapped with tulle and gold ribbon, in the hope that endorse my meaning. Because all I have is ours. Because when we kiss, I'm saying that I love.
Along with all that I attach other things I want to give because I know you the want. Since I first saw him ringing the bell of my door, literally, that September afternoon, I ordered on the shelves back memories, moments when the world perished I rescued them and gave them a place in a side so as not to feel unprotected (without knowing it, even without knowing that those first have the meanings are.) So many that I do not take them myself, because of its weight and size, and therefore sent them through text, I hope not take it as an insult. Principle include anxiety, nerves to see and feel about the calculation of its intentions that first afternoon of spring that he wanted it to last forever. His first call and my first call, their expectations and mine, my wishes and yours. Fears that I want. Are that afternoon at Palermo where she kissed me and I decided I wanted to continue giving it to me all my life. Include in case, the risks have missed you so much. Are the days of coffee, study, games. Each surprise that I gave and I gave each surprise. The sea. College. The common spaces built. There are movie nights, dinner, pampering morning. Have to the parenthesis that was not. Is the wake many nights because I had nightmares and panic that hugging for no return. It is the view just open my eyes, and power to illuminate his face all day. Containing the past, present and future. It's our history. So I give it to you but I'll take me, because the most precious thing that is ours is still not being yours or mine or ours. And share it gives us an excuse to stay together. It walked but especially as walking.
I do not want you to be unaware that every word I write, say or think has the perfume of his name on his back. And although the texts do not see the light and never will each letter is that mode of being superior and eternal love entails. So I give her my words which, though not the best gift is almost all I have. Because I want to give everything I am. Because, you know, I do not care to run out of anything while you continue to have. Because being with you has turned my life in the best sense. For although the world is what we measure in terms of three months or four or five, for me ours is infinite and eternal.
